By: Toni Crawford

I recall being bullied throughout my entire school experience, from elementary school to high school. My hairstyles weren’t approved, my clothes weren’t approved, and my looks definitely weren’t approved either. I was very slim for a long time, and my body didn’t develop as quickly as other girls’. As a result, I would occasionally look at myself in the mirror and pick myself apart.

I wanted hazel-brown eyes. I wanted a body that society praised. Where were my curves? I wanted long hair that flowed down the middle of my back. I still remember one day in elementary school when a classmate—a boy—punched me in the stomach during recess. I told the teacher, and nothing happened.

I remember being laughed at because the sole of one of my sneakers was falling apart as I walked across the classroom—you could hear it and see it. I remember in middle school when a girl used the back of my shirt to write on it. I remember being told I was into girls when I finally made a friend who was also being bullied. I wasn’t into girls, and the guys I had crushes on weren’t interested. They were too busy drooling over the popular girls.

Lastly, in high school, the bullying didn’t stop until around 11th or 12th grade. I guess it was because my body began to develop more, and I was finally able to buy my own clothes and get my hair done since I started working after school. Whatever the reason, I was glad it was over.

So, wanting to look like someone else, I often wonder how God—my Heavenly Father, the Creator of the world and humanity—must have felt when He looked down and saw me picking myself apart. He created me: my eye color, hair color, skin color, and everything else. Ever heard the saying, “God doesn’t make mistakes”? That saying is true.

The Bible says, “God saw all that He had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). So when God made you and me, He didn’t look at us with disgust, nor did He say, “Oops, my bad.” I repent for picking myself apart. I repent for wanting to look like someone else. I repent for putting myself down. I repent for thinking God did me a disservice.

Furthermore, it took time for me to heal from being bullied and to truly see myself as beautiful. To be honest, there are still moments when I have to remind myself that I am beautiful—not in a bragging way, but because God made me, and He said I am.

Listen—don’t let people make you question how God designed you. Don’t let people, who most likely don’t like themselves and therefore project their insecurities onto others, drive you to take extreme measures to change your appearance. I’ve heard many stories of people going as far as surgery to look like someone else, and some have deeply regretted it.

Now, I’m not saying don’t take care of your health—that’s different. We should absolutely care for our health, and we can look nice by how we dress. But risking your life to please people who love to body-shame and hold you to a beauty standard society—or they—deem acceptable is not worth it.

We have to love the way the Lord made us. And if you’re struggling to do so, the Bible says, “Casting all your cares upon Him, for He careth for you” (1 Peter 5:7). Sit at the Savior’s feet and pray. Ask Him to help you—and believe that He will. When you least expect it, you’ll begin to see yourself the way He does, and the opinions of others will no longer hold you captive.

The Bible says, “I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well” (Psalm 139:14). It also says, “Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:3–4).

Simply put—beauty is more than skin deep. Is the heart beautiful, or just the exterior? We can’t become so focused on outward appearance that we neglect to cultivate a beautiful heart.

Amen.