By: Toni Crawford

Dear Singles,

If you believe God, our Heavenly Father, has called you to marriage, please make sure your focus isn’t just on how he or she looks, how much money they make, or even their church attendance.

Church attendance, you ask? Yes — let me explain.

Many people go to church. And while going to church is a beautiful thing, it doesn’t mean the church is in the churchgoer. Let’s be clear — even demons believe. The church is often described as a hospital, and that’s true. Many people sit in church in need of treatment that only the Holy Spirit can provide.

So dig deeper.

What does their fruit look like? Are they truly a believer living a holy life, or just someone who attends church? Are there soul ties that need to be dealt with? Are there patterns, wounds, or behaviors that haven’t been surrendered to God?

Again — dig deep.

The Bible says:

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church… However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” — Ephesians 5:25, 33

“Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands… Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.” — Colossians 3:18–19

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect.” — 1 Peter 3:7

Why am I saying this? Why do I even care?

Because I do care.

Lately, singles have been on my heart even more than usual. I find myself in prayer, and singles are laid on my heart. I know many want to be loved. Many want to be in love. Many desire marriage.

But at what cost?

What steps are you taking to get there? Are you going to do it your way or God’s way?

As a married woman myself, I understand why it’s important to be prayed up, discerning, and spiritually aware — because marriage isn’t for the weak. Marriage isn’t just about taking cute photos, going on trips, putting on your Sunday best, and heading to church. It’s a covenant. It’s serious. It’s spiritual. It should never be taken lightly.

So I encourage you: seek the Lord and look at marriage through His eyes, not through the eyes of the world.

Lastly, it’s important to prepare for what you prayed for. If you believe you’re called to marriage, then prepare.

What does preparation look like?

For some, it means breaking soul ties.

For some, it means focusing on their health.

For others, it may mean growth in career or ministry.

Pray to Jesus, and He will reveal how you need to prepare.

The Bible says:

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Matthew 19:6

It’s not only important what your spouse brings to the table — it’s also important what you bring to the table. Marriage is teamwork.

I’m not saying this because I’m an expert. I’m still evolving in my own marriage. But I say this as a sister in Christ who has been through some things and seen some things.

I am tired of hearing stories about domestic abuse in marriages. I am tired of hearing about people realizing they married a narcissist or someone who pretended to have a relationship with the Lord, yet their lifestyle proved otherwise. I am tired of hearing about spouses being abandoned and left to raise children on their own.

It’s overwhelming. It’s sad. It’s concerning.

So if you’re single and reading this, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: I pray you are blessed with God’s best. Because having God’s best makes all the difference.

Amen.